Dear Bloggie,

Oh hello. I know I've been neglecting you over the past few weeks. Sorry. I've been busy working, but that is no excuse. I had a fantastic Christmas with my family and ate too many cookies and lots of fudge. I've taken the week off of work to pack, but I've mainly been watching Modern Family on Sidereel.com. It is hilarious. I love how little Manny is a 40 year old trapped in a 12 year old's body, and conversely, Phil is a 12 year old trapped in a 40 year old's body.

I've also been doing a great deal of thinking about all the organizing and packing I have to do over the next 6 days. Unfortunately, I usually get distracted and end up watching TV or painting my nails instead of doing anything productive. I go to Rexburg in 6 days, and am not yet frazzled by the prospect. I suppose I should start packing now so that I don't have an absolute unpreparedness-triggered moving panic attack come Monday morning.



Meet Anxiety Cat.

I came across this little fellow on memegenerator (a site on which I waste an embarrassing amount of time giggling quietly to myself) and it made me laugh so hard. It's like he is the absolute personification (or cat-ification?) of every ounce of social anxiety/shyness/OCD stress I have ever experienced. Enjoy.


Thunder thighs and my body image.

I saw a picture this week, a very recent one, of myself. Even though I've lost close to 40 pounds in the last year and a half (which, yay!), I still zeroed in on the one area of my body I've never been happy with, no matter how skinny I've been - my thighs. Oh, my thighs. They have always been hell-bent on constantly being large and jiggly.

As I stared at them in disgust, I had an epiphany. If I approach my appearance with an ever critical eye, I will never be thin enough. Or toned enough. Or cute enough. Or even tanned enough. No matter how supportive and complimentary people are towards me, if I lose the weight only in order to 'fix' myself, it will never be enough.

However, if I accept my body as it is right here and right now (jiggles, cellulite, whiteness and all), I have already won. Focusing on becoming healthier, as opposed to fixing what I perceive as defects, will be enough.



It's always darkest before the dawn.

Another post dedicated to an awesome new album that I must gush about to anyone who will listen. Because I love my music to the point of total nerddom. Deal. With. It.

Artist: Florence + The Machine
Album: Ceremonials
My thoughts: So beautiful. Quirky, happy, and occasionally mysterious. The arrangements and beats are brilliantly layered; each song feels like a unique little story. Just like with their last album, Lungs, there are certain songs on this record that make me so happy that while listening to it on the road, I get the urge to jump on top of my car and just start dancing in the middle of an intersection. (Don't worry, I haven't. Yet.) There are also a few tracks that are spooky that I haven't completely been won over by yet, but I know I will be. Because that is just how good these guys are.
Favorite Tracks: Shake It Out, Only If for a Night, All This and Heaven Too

*As a sidenote, there is one detail that pains me about Florence + The Machine. As a lover of music videos, I was really excited to check theirs out. When I heard that the Dog Days are Over video won an MTV music video award, I knew I had to watch it. So I did - and I was left wondering precisely when during the experience I dropped acid. Blue genie women in gold dresses and scary kabuki doll makeup? Check and check. Masked purple ninjas banging on some bongo drums? Why of course!
It's terrifying.
I really don't want to post the video here because it will freak you out and could make you hate their music, which would be tragic. So instead, here is a little screencap to illustrate my point:

Oh well.


It's mah birfday! and some random facts.

I had a fantastic birthday yesterday. I was even given the gift of an extra hour of sleep by the universe (thank you daylight savings time! I forgive you for being an unnecessary annoyance to the modern world). My sister Jackie came down to Utah for the weekend, and so my entire family was together. It was awesome. We had presents, cake, and crepe paper decorations (an old family tradition that was supposed to die out once we were no longer little kids, but has endured).

So I am now 26. I am fully loving it, but personally accepting the inevitability of aging is a new development. When I hit 25, I had this inexplicable wave of horror wash over me when I realized that I was only 5 years away from being 30. That just seemed so....old. However, just because I am not precisely where I imagined I would be in my late 20's, I am entirely who I want to be. I think that matters more than the fact that I haven't yet reached the milestones that I expected I would have by now.

So, in honor of self-acceptance, here are 5 little-known (or quirky) things about me:

1. I swear too much, even though it's often just under my breath. I know I ought to stop because it's not ladylike and it's getting out of control. For example: The other day, I was exiting the 7-11 in Kaysville after getting a nice big fountain drink of Dr. Pepper. The door slammed my arm as I was walking through on my way out, and it hurt like the dickens. For a horrible moment I was in danger of losing my 32 oz fountain drink all over myself so i mumbled, "ohsh*t!" under my breath. Apparently it wasn't as quiet as I thought it was, because some dude looked up and stared at me the whole way out to my car. I'm sorry I offended your delicate sensibilities, young man, but you were wearing a backwards hat and didn't look like you were full of high society social norms.

2. Most of my wardrobe looks more like it belongs to a 13-year-old than a 26-year-old. It's mostly because I just like tee shirts and sneakers, ok? And also, because I have a secret desire to be on TLC's What not to Wear. I have literally imagined the things that Clinton Kelly would say to me while flinging all my crew neck graphic tees into the garbage can.

3. I am not ambidextrous when flipping off idiot drivers. (another habit I need to quit)

4. When I am at work and extremely bored between surveys, I play the alphabet game in my head. The alphabet game goes like this: Think of a fairly specific category, and then think of a word or name from that category for each letter of the alphabet. The other day, I chose 'first names of characters that appear in books I own.' (Aberforth, Bella, Carlton, Diana... etc) It is a fabulous way to make the day go by quickly.

5. I was a shamelessly compulsive liar up until I was about 7 or 8 years old, when I apparently grew a conscience. For instance: I once told my best friend in the second grade that we had 'lost' my younger sister at the mall. (We hadn't.) I wove the story very dramatically and was apparently very convincing because that afternoon, my friend's very concerned mother called my house to ask my mom if they had found my younger sibling. Busted.


concert review: MCR & Blink 182

So, I went to a concert last month. It was super fun, and therefore deserves a post. I am just really behind on blogging. In sum:

I went with my great friends Robyn and Megan.

It was not the best live show I've ever been to, but I still had a blast because I was with my besties. However, I probably won't be going to a Blink 182 concert again (Oh, yea, by the way - the bands were Blink 182 and My Chemical Romance). Because even though Travis killed it on the drums (it sounded like no animal with less than 8 arms could have done all that crazy stuff), and even though their songs were catchy as ever, they have a REALLY VULGAR stage act. Like, tasteless. I shouldn't have been shocked, because Meg, who had been to their shows before tried to warn me. "Uh, Tami, are you sure? Blink kind of... swears a lot at concerts."
"Meh! That's ok. I don't listen to lyrics that much anyways."

The problem is, you really don't get a sense of how crude they are when you buy their music edited - which I do. And having it blared through an awesomely loud sound system doesn't really give you much of a choice in how much you notice. So, their act was an eye-opening experience. Yikes. It was also a little bit sad, because aging rock stars with receding hairlines are depressing. (I'm sorry, Mark Hoppus. But you seriously are going bald.)

But now, we will talk about My *cough cough secret husbands* Chemical Romance. They are who I really went to see. They are those tiny, tiny blue and purple lights on stage wayyyyy behind me:

I had assumed that Blink and MCR would be co-headlining, and would each take turns as the main attractions. Instead MCR opened and did a short, 45-minute set. Wahhhhh. Their sound system and stage set up wasn't as cool as Blink's, since they weren't the headliners - but they still sounded amazing. They are one of my favorite bands, and they didn't disappoint. I would do it all over again to see them perform. Their music is so personal and piercing. It tears my little heart out and I love it. They played a beautiful rock set full of my faves including Helena, I'm not Okay, Cancer, Na Na Na, and their arrangements were slightly different and more dramatic and instrumental than their studio albums. It was very theatrical.

In short, we had a great time. Also, we saw lots of people with fascinatingly ugly hair. Like this young lad:

I felt his hair needed to be documented, but I was torn between getting close enough to snap a good picture without being noticed, or getting too close and risking getting poked with his spikes if I angered him.


Dear Autumn,

You are a great season. One of my favorites. Bright yellow leaves, the introduction to the holiday season, and feeling so cozy in my car with the heater blasting - all of those are fabulous. However, I wish that you would last longer - or how about you stick around all the way through til Spring? You lasted only a week or two this year, you fickle minx.

Here's the thing. Your little sister, Winter, is heinous. I hate her more than the Grinch hated Christmas. In fact, I sort of turn into the Grinch once Christmas passes, and the snow and sleet and ice are left behind but are no longer nostalgic and festive. They're just cold. Painfully so, especially once I've moved down to Idaho. And then I start to lose my mind a little bit, and-oh-my-gosh-it's-April-why-is-it-still-snowing....ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Please, see what you can do about it.
Love, Tami


Dog Shenanigans

My poor baby dog, Lady, got an unintentional bikini wax last week.

So, she (the dog) has this habit of running into my room and skedaddling under my bed for fun. She's sassy, and probably does it because she knows she doesn't have free range yet throughout the house. To avoid getting caught and thrown out of my room, she army crawls to the exact middle underneath the bed, so that I can't grab her. Earlier this month, I had placed some of those glue-board spider traps under there (which by the way, I find so rewarding to look at because once they've caught and killed some huge ugly spiders, they leave them on display for me to laugh at). I heard a pitiful whimpering noise coming from under my bed, so I leaned down to look. Lady had gotten a glue board stuck on one of her paws and one stuck on her butt. In a frenzied panic, she somehow managed to yank the one on her paw off, but she shot out from under my bed with the second glue board still stuck to one of her furry little butt cheeks.

I enlisted my mom's help, and we tried to think of a way to get it off as painlessly as possible. We decided on the 'band-aid method' - tear it off really quickly and be done with it. The glue on those sons-of-guns are very thick and very sticky, so as I held her and my mom yanked it off, the glue board came away with pretty much all of the loose fur from Lady's booty. It didn't result in any bald spots, thank goodness, but I could tell it was not the most pleasant thing she had ever experienced.

She has not gone under my bed since.


how to avoid negativity

I found this fabulous info-graphic through Pinterest (originally posted on The Secret Yumiverse) a while ago, and I love it. LOVE IT. For many reasons. Because, not only is it hilarious, but I've also found that a few of the techniques it outlines are incredibly effective when I have to deal with a meanie-jerk on the phone at work.

There have been many times that I have had to take a deep breath, and imagine an invisible force-field full of positive thoughts (#5) as a barrier between me and the jerk-monster on the phone, where all their meanness just bounces off. It works! Try it. I also like the one about every jerk monster having a sad human being trapped inside of it. When I try to remember this, it helps to humanize even the most obnoxious, vicious people, which makes it possible to send some compassion their way.


Dear Emma Stone,

You have made me realize that my ghostly pale complexion is not fundamentally ugly. Thanks for making all of us whiter-than-chalk-even-in-the-middle-of-summer-girls feel a little bit prettier.

Love, Tami



Oh hello there. I had a fabulous August, thank you very much. It was full and fun and sunny, just like summer months should be.

I got my old job back (whew! relief!) which is awesome. I like survey work, weirdly enough, and I get to work full time. I sit at a desk all day and do crossword puzzles in between calls. I really don't mind calling people because 50% of the time, there is no answer/or I get an answering machine. 30% of the time, someone answers, but then they hang up after they hear the word 'survey.' (Don't worry. You don't hurt my feelings. I get it.) 10% of the time, a human being speaks back to me from the other end of the line, but they say they don't have time to do it, don't want to do it, or ask me to take them off my calling list (which I actually prefer, between that and rescheduling, because we don't want to call you back if you have no desire to ever do a survey and know you're never going to do it). That last 10% actually do the survey with me, with varying levels of enthusiasm. I love that 10%. I want to hug them forever (figuratively). I may or may not have added those up correctly to 100%. I'm an English major, so I'm not too hot at math.

So when I wasn't working, I went camping/boating in Flaming Gorge with my family and actually got some color on my legs (shocking!), and went to Park City over a weekend with some girlfriends, Robyn & Meg. It was a spectacular month. I can't find any pictures of Flaming Gorge, probably because I'm lazy and never take any pictures. However, here are some pictures from Park City. Which, oh man. I loved the shopping there. I think I need to go to those outlets every time I shop. They have the hugest discounts. Meg thankfully took these while we were there.

Me, Robyn, our yummy drinks, and my sunburned neckline.

Me, Megan, and my accidental 80's bra-strap exposure.

Megan 'pretending' to shut the murphy bed at (Robyn's family condo) with me still in it. Apparently, my double chin comes out and shows itself when I look scared. Like a frilled lizard. Just ignore it.

Fun! September has been pretty awesome so far as well! More on that later. Promise.


Honey, I'm home.

I am not sure why I can't call Rexburg 'Home' yet, or if I will before I graduate (in 5-ish semesters). I live there 7 months out of the year, but there is an intangible pull towards my house and family in Kaysville that makes it my real home, even though I'm an adult and normally I would have my own place - full time - to live in by now.

I like it anyways. I love being back, and I am almost completely moved in. I have no idea how on earth I fit all of my crap into my room. I think it multiplies in my closet when I'm not looking. I packed and stored most of it at a unit in Rexburg, but still - there is SO MUCH of it. I felt like a wizard when I was able to fit it all in my car, using nothing but my own two hands to move it all.

So, I am home! And I have been unpacking, but have otherwise been quite lazy & laid back this week. I am crossing my fingers that my old workplace has a spot for me. Wish me luck on that, or I may have to do the whole take-two-jobs-at-once-in-order-to-make-enough-money thing again. Bleh.

Oh, and also, I slipped down the stairs yesterday in a very painful and hilarious fashion. I did that thing where you put your foot juuuuuuust too far off of the carpeted step, and your foot slips out from under you. I threw my arms up, my phone flew out of my hands & hit the wall really hard (luckily, it made it through unscathed). In my wacky flailing, trying to find something to hold onto mid-fall, I bonked the flabby under part of my arm on the banister post. Yowzer. It hurts. I was going to take a picture of it to impress you with my toughness, but it doesn't look that impressive. It's just a large, nasty, speckled bruise.

Lady, our dog, witnessed the whole thing. After being freaked out for a moment and staring at me, she seemed to decide I was playing some kind of new game and started jumping on my sprawled body. She's such a weirdo. It's a good thing she's cute.

Photo from my sis Colie


Harry Potter Notable Quotables: 6 & 7

Oh man, you guys. The premiere is this week!

Book 6 - Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

"Ah, good evening Harry," said Dumbledore, looking up at him through his half-moon glasses with a most satisfied expression. "Excellent, excellent."

These words seemed to rouse Uncle Vernon. It was clear that as far as he was concerned, any man who could look at Harry and say "excellent" was a man with whom he could never see eye to eye.

"I don't mean to be rude--" he began, in a tone that threatened rudeness in every syllable.

"--yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often," Dumbledore finished the sentence gravely. "Best to say nothing at all, my dear man."

"And now, Harry, let us step out into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure."

"Ginny came in to visit while you were unconscious," he [Ron] said, after a long pause, and Harry's imagination zoomed into overdrive, rapidly constructing a scene in which Ginny, weeping over his lifeless form, confessed her feelings of deep attraction to him while Ron game them his blessing..."She reckons you only just arrived on time for the match."

Book 7- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Harry glanced over at the dark shapes they made on the floor beside him. Ron had had a fit of gallantry and insisted that Hermione sleep on the cushions from the sofa, so that her silhouette was raised above his.

Amycus moved forward until he was offensively close to Professor McGonagall, his face within inches of hers. She refused to back away, but looked down at him as if he were something disgusting she had found stuck to a lavatory seat.

From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: She landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always," said Snape.

"Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living, and, above all, those who live without love."

The house-elves of Hogwarts swarmed into the entrance hall, screaming and waving carving knives and cleavers, and at their head, the locket of Regulus Black bouncing on his chest, was Kreacher, his bullfrog's voice audible even above this din [...] They were hacking and stabbing at the ankles and shins of Death Eaters, their tiny faces alive with malice, and everywhere Harry looked Death Eaters were folding under sheer weight of numbers, overcome by spells, dragging arrows from wounds, stabbed in the leg by elves, or else simply attempting to escape, but swallowed by the oncoming horde.


4th of July Family-palooza

This last week, we went as a family to Island Park and stayed in the most adorable little cabin you ever did see. I loved it. Even though I got bitten alive by bugs, wore entirely the wrong shoes hiking on a certain fishing expedition, and was terrified 60% of the time that I was going to meet my end as the meal of a grizzly bear, I had fun. I would do it all over again. Somehow I managed to not get tan - AT ALL. I think I have albino genes. Here are some pictures: (courtesy of my little sis Michelle - I am too lazy to take any)

Me, backwards-modeling a pair of PJs that had a trap door in back:

Me and the sissies:

Me, sinking in some quicksand in a lake (and probably swearing in my head):

Papa Booth snoozing:

The marrieds:

Good ol' Lake Hebgen:


Harry Potter Notable Quotables: Book 5

When Sirius wrested a large golden ring bearing the Black crest from his grip Kreacher actually burst into furious tears and left the room sobbing under his breath and calling Sirius names Harry had never heard before.

"It was my father's," said Sirius, throwing the ring into the sack. "Kreacher wasn't quite as devoted to him as to my mother, but I still caught him snogging a pair of my father's old trousers last week."


"How're you feeling?" Ginny asked Ron, who was now staring into the dregs of milk at the bottom of his empty cereal bowl as though seriously considering attempting to drown himself in them.


"Harry, I owe you an explanation," said Dumbledore. "An explanation of an old man's mistakes. For I see now that what I have done, and not done, with regard to you, bears all the hallmarks of the failings of age. Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young."


What I've been up to

I have been a busy girl, so my blog has been rather neglected. I am currently:

- schooling full time
- working part time
- being awesome all the time

JK, I made that last one up. That list seems shorter than it should be. Oh, yea, I also started an Etsy shop because I have a really poor grasp on how many hours are actually in a day. It is a blast. It's a work in progress, so more on that later.

I do still fear that I'll not be able to keep juggling everything and I'll have a mental breakdown and be found by my roommates at the end of the semester rocking back and forth in my closet with my eyes glazed over mumbling things about possessive pronouns and Mesopotamian trade routes. If that is the case, you'll know why.

Lurve, Tami


Classroom Quotes

Both from my Grammar professor:

"...will you be marked down if you don't put a comma there? Only if your teacher is a Hitler-psychopath. I don't really care."

"I should warn you. If you become a fantasy author, you will cause kids to become nerds. Can you live with that?"


Quote of the Day

from my professor:

"My son went through a slightly rebellious stage - he started wearing beanies and I know for a fact that he was listening to Beastie Boys."


Dear Royal Newlyweds,

You had the raddest wedding ever, complete with a carriage ride through the streets and an adorably cranky junior bridesmaid.

I didn't think I could love you even more than I do, but then I read this. And it happened: I love you even more.

You don't have a staff - no cook, no butler, no limo drivers - nothing (well, besides security, but duh). You live a shockingly normal, modest life for the future King and Queen of the oldest surviving monarchy in the world.

What I'm trying to say is...
Can we be besties? So you can invite me over for tea and crumpets at your grandma's place and I can play with her corgis while I wear a fancy hat? Pleeeeeeease? (Have your people call my people.)


Dream Spectrum

Sometimes, I have dreams so fantastical and bizarre that I wonder where on earth my brain comes up with this stuff. Other times, though, my dreams are so incredibly mundane and normal that I wonder why my subconscious even bothers to whip them up. Maybe I just don't know how to have dreams that are in the normalcy mid-range. For example, last night I dreamed that I bought a really great hi-liter from the bookstore. In my dream, I then went home and studied and was really impressed by how great the hi-liter worked.

That's all. I woke up, and I kind of wanted to go to the bookstore to check out their selection of hi-liters.


Harry Potter Notable Quotables: Book 4

AKA "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire"
Chapter 5 (Harry and Ron, speaking about Ron's zealous older brother Percy):
"Percy's enjoying work, then?" said Harry, sitting down on one of the beds and watching the Chudley Cannons zooming in and out of the posters on the ceiling.

"Enjoying it?" said Ron darkly. "I don't reckon he'd come home if Dad didn't make him. He's obsessed. Just don't get him onto the subject of his boss. According to Mr. Crouch... as I was saying to Mr. Crouch... Mr. Crouch is of the opinion... Mr. Crouch was telling me... They'll be announcing their engagement any day now."

Chapter 12 (Harry observing the first years' arrival)
Professor McGonagall was leading a long line of first years up to the top of the Hall. If Harry, Ron, and Hermione were wet, it was nothing to how these first years looked. They appeared to have swum across the lake rather than sailed. All of them were shivering with a combination of cold and nerves as they filed along the staff table and came to a halt in a line facing the rest of the school - all of them except the smallest of the lot, a boy with mousy hair, who was wrapped in what Harry recognized as Hagrid's moleskin overcoat. The coat was so big for him that it looked as though he were draped in a furry black circus tent. His small face protruded from over the collar, looking almost painfully excited. When he had lined up with his terrified-looking peers, he caught Colin Creevy's eye, gave a double thumbs-up, and mouthed, I fell in the lake! He looked positively delighted about it.

Chapter 19:
It is a strange thing, but when you are dreading something, and would give anything to slow down time, it has a disobliging habit of speeding up.

Chapter 21 (Ron):
"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy."

Chapter 27 (Sirius Black):
"If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals."


HP 7.2 Trailer + bonus Tami reaction video

......I die.

I have no words to describe how awesome this movie is going to be. I am such a potter nerd that I almost teared up when I watched it. I was curious how my face looked while I watched it - so I recorded my reaction (the fifth time through). It's entertaining. Please ignore my double chin & non-makeup zit face & the way it's kind of distorted (my laptop was on my tummy and I was laying down).

The part where I giggle halfway through is when Harry tries to get Voldy to hug it out with him while falling off a tower. (sooo not in the book). Fave Youtube trailer comment:

"Scene 1
Harry: Expelliarmus!

Scene 2
Voldemort: Nyeeeeeeehhhh!!!!!!

Scene 3
Voldy: Why do you live?
Harry: Because I have something worth living for!


Songs of the day/month

So, as you know, I love Eisley.

They came out with a new album last month and I have had it on repeat since I bought it. Their music just makes me so happy. I could blab all day long about how genius they are and why I love their music, but instead I'll sum it up: It's like auditory narcotics. My faves from the album: Mr. Moon, Oxygen Mask and The Valley.

(I could only find a streaming file for one of the tracks, but seriously. Preview them all on iTunes. You won't be sorry.)


Ozz Wozz

I never figured I would ever become an animal person. Especially a dog person. Especially a person who loved her doggie so much she would blog about him.

We had to put our lovey weird dog Ozzie down last week. He had what I like to call Dr.Jekyll/Mr. Hyde syndrome. Most of the time he was a sweet tempered, friendly, galloping doofus of a dog. However, when people came over to our house that he didn't know or didn't remember that he knew, he would bite them.

It started out innocently enough; Whenever he got loose as a baby dog, he used to just chase people around in a playful puppy way before we could corral him inside. Then, as a teenager dog, he started to nip at people's pants while he chased them - and finally, over the last year or so, he began biting those he chased. Hard.

I had no idea how attached to him I was. I mourned. Like, literally. Stayed in my bed all day long the day afterwards and read Harry Potter and played on my laptop. All day.

I feel comforted by the fact that we did everything we could to solve the problem before putting him down. We tried: obedience school, puppy prozac, a permanent baby gate separating the downstairs from the front door so he couldn't get outside or bite our guests, getting a special harness for walks that he couldn't slip out of, walking him in the dead of night so we wouldn't endanger the neighborhood, etc.

In the words of 'Doctah' Moss (our Australian - or is he British? - veterinarian) while he spoke with us in his office the day we had to put Ozz to sleep, "We know your family. We know you love your animals."

We really do.

Ozzie went very peacefully. He was comfortable and quite happy and we petted him until he was gone.

To stop myself from having a full-blown blogging cryfest, here are some pictures of one of his favorite pastimes: photobombing our family pictures.


Harry Potter Notable Quotables: Book 3

AKA "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban"
Chapter 1 (Harry's homework from A History of Magic):
"Non-magic people (more commonly known as Muggles) were particularly afraid of magic in medieval times, but not very good at recognizing it. On the rare occasion that they did catch a real witch or wizard, burning had no effect whatsoever. The witch or wizard would perform a basic Flame Freezing Charm and then pretend to shriek with pain while enjoying a gentle, tickling sensation. Indeed, Wendelin the Weird enjoyed being burned so much that she allowed herself to be caught no less than forty-seven times in various disguises."

Chapter 2 (Uncle Vernon to Harry)
"We told Marge you attend St. Brutus's Secure Center for Incurably Criminal Boys."

Chapter 5 (Professor Dumbledore):
"Well, I am sorry to tell you that Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures teacher, retired at the end of last year in order to enjoy more time with his remaining limbs."

Chapter 22 (Professor Dumbledore):
"You think the dead we loved ever truly leave us? You think that we don't recall them more clearly than ever in times of great trouble? Your father is alive in you, Harry, and shows himself most plainly when you have need of him."


It was a horse, of course.

Dearest Universe,

While I was driving along the highway, thank you for letting me pass a horse trailer while its horsey occupant was having a full-fledged headbanging fit. I think he was trying to wiggle his rope loose, but his antics also matched up to the beat of my song Per.fect.ly. It looked like he was totally enjoying my tunes. A perk unique to Rexburg: passing horse trailers so regularly that this was bound to happen sooner or later.



Getting OLD

So. I found two more grey hairs this week...except this time, they were in my eyebrows.


The prospect of getting older seemed so glamorous and exciting when I was young. Pop culture always glosses over the not-so-fun parts of aging and instead focuses on the fun parts - going to college, starting a family, buying a house, planning a career, becoming a certified adult citizen...

But definitely not finding rogue albino white hairs in your eyebrows at age 25.


Harry Potter Notable Quotables

I am attempting to re-read all seven Harry Potter books before the release of the final (sniffle) movie this July. While doing so, I've been re-encountering hilarious and touching quotes that I had forgotten existed. These are the gems I've collected so far. For the uninitiated, I've included some background information to explain the quotes and why I love them.

Book 1: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

Harry sat up and gasped; the glass front of the boa constrictor's tank had vanished. The great snake was uncoiling itself rapidly, slithering out onto the floor. People throughout the reptile house screamed and started running for the exits.

As the snake slid swiftly past him, Harry could have sworn a low, hissing voice said, "Brazil, here I come... Thanksss, amigo."

- The Boa Constrictor at the Zoo, Chapter 2. Harry had accidentally made the glass in the snake enclosure vanish. (In the movie during this scene, the snake only says, 'thanksssssss,' and while that is funny, the addition of 'amigo' made me LOL.)

"Ah! Berty Bott's Every Flavor Beans! I was unfortunate enough in my youth to come across a vomit-flavored one, and since then I'm afraid I've rather lost my liking for them - but I think I'll be safe with a nice toffee, don't you?"

He smiled and popped the golden-brown bean into his mouth. Then he choked and said, "Alas! Ear wax!"

- Professor Dumbledore, Chapter 17

Book 2: Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

The pudding fell to the floor with a heart-stopping crash. Cream splattered the windows and walls as the dish shattered. With a crack like a whip, Dobby vanished.

There were screams from the dining room and Uncle Vernon burst into the kitchen to find Harry, rigid with shock, covered from head to foot in Aunt Petunia's pudding.

At first, it looked as though Uncle Vernon would manage to gloss the whole thing over. ("Just our nephew - very disturbed - meeting strangers upsets him, so we kept him upstairs...")

- Uncle Vernon, Chapter 2. Harry's uncle and aunt had guests over, and had hidden Harry upstairs and told him not to make any noise. Unfortunately, Dobby the house-elf came for a visit and caused mayhem.

"It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

- Professor Dumbledore, Chapter 18


I'm reading a book.

I went to a workshop yesterday, and they showed this. It made me giggle. His voice is kind of frightening, and that is what makes it funny to me.



At work, as soon as I hear the distinctive bell tone that precedes the phone line being opened, I've trained myself to chime in with 'Hi, This is..." or 'Hello, may I please speak with..." It is practically involuntary. However, hearing the bell tone only proceeds the line being put through, whether it hooks me up to a ringing phone, an answering machine, or a busy signal.

Sometimes, I start saying 'hi' or 'hello' before I realize am not actually talking to a human being and I instinctively cut myself off before I'm finished with the first syllable. So I just go 'hhh' or hhheh.' Try it yourself. Take a deep breath and start to say 'Hello' but cut yourself off to see what it sounds like. It makes me laugh every time without fail because it sounds so bizarre. Laughing quietly to myself probably earns me even more weird points to anyone who is observing me, but I really don't care.


Ice Skating: not for the awkward

Rexburg has a new ice rink. When I drove past it the other day, I thought it may be fun to go to some time with my roommates or FHE group. Ice skating, as an abstract idea, seems like very idyllic and wholesome wintry fun, like building snowmen in scarves and mittens.

However, I then remembered how horribly I ice skate. I have no balance, and have the coordination skills of a lanky 9 year old at best. I remembered an incident at our local Ice-O-Plex in California (always the best birthday location ever, by the way. Thanks mom!) I was in junior high, and remember feeling like my feet were strapped into tiny slippery death machines. I had to grip the wall desperately even though I was 14. On my third awkward solitary lap of the rink, a bratty little girl that couldn't have been more than seven was zipping by in a rhinestone encrusted ice dancer outfit. As she passed me, she said something over her shoulder along the lines of, "You're not so good at this, are you?" and then flew off at record speed in her stupid aqua green getup. It crushed my pride.

I don't think I'll be going to the Rexburg ice rink anytime soon.


The wind is blowing so hard in Rexburg right now.

It is making a creepy constant whistling noise and I don't like it. And there's thunder. Weather.com informs me that it is blowing at up to 37 mph, which the Beaufort Wind Scale classifies as 'Moderate or near gale.' GALE FORCE WINDS, people. Our power went out for a half hour.

I feel like my entire apartment building is about to break free and take off a-la The Wizard of Oz.

Mark my words. When I graduate I am going to live somewhere warm and sunny and non-gale-force-wind-ish.

That is all.


"You transfix me, quite."

Jane Eyre is one of my (many) very favorite books. Pretty much everything by the Bronte sisters is fantastic, but I especially like Jane Eyre because *SPOILER* 1) although the protagonist has a horrible childhood and faces huge dilemmas and sacrifices her temporary happiness in order to stick to her morals, she 2) gets a happy ending anyways. Awwwww....

So basically, I'm already obsessed with this movie and I haven't even seen it yet. I'm worried that I'm building it up in my head so much that it won't be able to live up to my expectations.

But I mean, can you blame me?

- How creepy it is (it's a creepy book, if you think about it).
- Dame Judy Dench playing Ms. Fairfax (I mean, come on. If she's in it, it's got to be good.)
- I counted at least 3 direct quotes from the book in the trailer, which is a good indication that the filmmakers know their stuff.
- The depiction of her childhood. Poor Jane.
- OMG BERTHA! & the scary door behind the scary tapestry at 1:31. YIKES.
- I'm about to show my geekery in a very graphic way here. I love that the actress who plays Mrs. Reed (one of my least favorite characters in the book, besides Brocklehurst) also played one of my favorite Jane Austen characters in this version of Persuasion.

- UH, its rated PG-13 for a' Nude image'?!?
- the visible age difference between Jane and Rochester (even though I know, technically, it is true to the book, it still slightly skeeves me out).
- Child Jane is bucktoothed. I have low tolerance for buckteeth.
- The trailer focuses a little too much on the eerie aspects of the story, and seems to downplay what the novel essentially is - a love story. It's a love story that happens to occur in the autobiography of an independent feminist, but still - it's a love story.

The real question is: Will it be able to live up to the amazing 2006 BBC adaptation miniseires? Only time will tell.


No I don't work here, but thank you anyways

So, I was at Walmart this week looking over the cleaning products. (I seriously enjoy cleaning products.) A girl came up behind me, looking all lost and young and I-have-my-first-clean-check-tomorrow-ish, and asked me what I would use to clean my toilet and tub, and which isle those items could be found on. I wasn't wearing a blue polo shirt or a name tag, so I didn't look like a Walmart employee. I think that she asked me because either 1)I was there in the cleaning isle (most probable explanation) or 2) because I was exuding an exceptionally powerful Jedi-cleaning master aura (my preferred explanation). I gave her no fewer than 4 recommendations, and then directed her towards the Magic Erasers. I rock.

Jedi Cleaning Master


Plans for this year

2011 will be kind of awesome. Here's why:

I plan to...

1. Work on my time management, especially as it relates to bedtimes and sleeping. This may not seem like a very difficult thing for some people to accomplish, but those who know me know that I avoid bedtime like the plague. The plan: I am going to try to be in bed at or before 1:00am. Every day.

2. I am currently a (loose) dress size 14. I would love to get down to a loose size 12 by summer. Spending a summer in an actual bathing suit without a large cover-up on top of it would feel so good! I'd really like to reach my ultimate size - 10 - by winter, but I'll cross that bridge when I reach it.

3. I will pay off all my non-student loan debt. It is not that much, and it is quite do-able.

4. Read at least 10 books written over 100 years ago.

5. Blog at least once a week.

Unlike all of my past New Years Resolutions, I actually have game plans on how to accomplish all these things. Yay! Bring it on, year. I'm ready.