5.08.2008

Tears of....

I really can't figure out what you call the tears that happen when you laugh too hard, and start crying. Because they're not tears of joy, exactly; they're not like the kind you cry at weddings or when a mommy holds her newborn. Hm. I'll just call them tears of funny.

Today was the first day in a long time that I cried for two entirely separate reasons, but neither instance was negative. The first time was a few hours ago, while reading my new favorite book, "The Host" - there were really tender parts in it, and while some of it was wrenching, none of my tears were sad. Just touched.

About 20 minutes ago, I was reading my little sister Nicole's blog about tetherball and fish, and I started laughing so hard that I was sobbing. Not just a lone tear, trickling out as I calmed down - I was crying. And wheezing. And I had to reach for the same box of tissues that I had used earlier.

It was weird, because in that moment when I grabbed the tissues, I just felt so lucky. Because it wasn't that long ago that crying twice in one day, and going through tissues like no one's business, wasn't something that was out of place for me. When sadness and fatigue and helplessness and stress were the cause of my overflowing emotions. Come to think of it, I can't pinpoint the last time that I cried because I was sad...

It's funny how life can tip you upside down, rattle you around, and spit you out, but still let you land on your feet somehow. No, it's not funny actually, it's amazing. And the fact that I had a loving family and a strong support system to help me to my feet made all the difference, I think.

:)

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