I wish I could pass it off as a night terror...

... because I have had those before.

night terror n.- A state of intense fear and agitation sometimes experienced, especially by children, on awakening from a stage of sleep not associated with dreaming but characterized by extremely vivid hallucinations

I had this one where there was a giant spider sitting on my chest, and it was staring at me. All I could do was stare back. If that doesn't sound scary, I guess you had to be there. I had another one after watching "The Bunny Lady" video on youtube. In that one, the leading lady was sitting in my desk chair, also looking at me. I dare you not to have a night terror as well after watching that. I guess my subconscious is trying to tell me that my greatest fear is being looked at. Or maybe I just really don't enjoy eye contact. Who knows.

Enough about my psyche. Switching gears!

I wish I could pass off what happened last night as a night terror because I feel like a total doofus for screaming bloody murder at two in the morning and running the possibly making my roommates fear for my life. What happened was this:

Something rustled in my room. And it wasn't a normal, 'room-rustling' sound. It for sure wasn't the pipes, the heater vent, or the sound of the wind. When I heard it, I immediately thought of the hyper-aggressive little squirrel-fiends that run around my apartment complex in the summertime. Those things are brazen little monsters, and have run into my apartment before, baring their nasty little teeth. They fear nothing.

So, since it was late and dark, I imagined that the sound I heard was exactly like what a squirrel would sound like, if it were rifling through my garbage can. Then, about ten seconds later, something lightweight landed on my leg. I screamed like a banshee, wildly flinging my leg up - trying to send whatever had landed on me airborne.

I switched on my bedside lamp, and noticed two things simultaneously: That the small garbage can next to my desk was full of oddly stacked papers which were slowly settling, explaining the rustling noise I had heard. The next thing I noticed was that a corner of my bedspread had somehow gotten yanked up while I was tossing and turning in the night, and had chosen, ten seconds previous, to settle back down - right on my leg.

I thought about checking to see if I had woken my roommates up, but they weren't making any noise. After checking with them this morning, I found out that my scream hadn't woken anyone up. Whew!

Also: If you clicked on the link to that bunny lady video, I apologize for ruining your life. Toodles.


cole linnae said...


i seriously lol'd at this for so long. where the deuce did you get those evil squirrel pictures?

jackie herself said...

sometimes you make me laugh so hard i cry. this is one of those times.

Tami said...

hahaha. All I did was type in 'evil squirrels' on google image search.

Kristin May said...

I was wondering the same thing... but I thought maybe you searched "killer squirrels" ... that little knife is disturbing hahaha.

jackie herself said...

i just read this again. at school. this time, i burst out laughing so hard i spit all over my computer screen. thanks a heap.

Tami said...

Ha ha ha, don't you miss sharing a room with me?