Hammerhead Wedding Veil ALERT

I had the most amazing dream last week. And by amazing, I mean it was so awkward and uncomfortable that it almost bordered on a nightmare, and I laughed with sweet relief when I woke up and realized it was just a dream. Some background first:

So, as many of you know, my sister Jackie is getting married this weekend to Georgey. He is awesome, and I am so happy for both of them that I know I am going to blubber like a sentimental boob at their wedding.

I hadn't seen Jackie's wedding dress yet, and I distinctly remember being excited about seeing it as I was falling asleep. In my dream, Jackie was trying on her dress for all of our family to see. I walked into that room that every bridal store has - you know, the one that has three giant mirrors so that the brides can see their dresses from every angle. I was relatively far away, and I was trying to figure out what the strange, white gauzy shape was at the far side of the room.

Then.

THEN.

Jackie turned around and I realized it was her. She had a giant, purple, rhinestone encrusted thing attached to the BACK of her head. Her veil was hanging off of it. She looked like a hammerhead shark. And her dress? It was like a pioneer dress, except it was made out of white satin and dark purple ribbon. Oh, and the skirt was one of those weird, see through, short-in-the-front and long-in-the-back monstrosities that you sometimes see on Miss Teen USA pageants.

The worst part? She loved it. In my dream, I mean. She LOVE loved it, and had already bought it, and since no one else had voiced any objections to it, I felt like I couldn't tell her how horribly ugly her ensemble was.

Thankfully, I then woke up.


Dear cute sister Jackie,
I am so excited for your big day. I am sure you will be radiantly beautiful. Just please promise me you will not to wear this:



... Because I will not be able to stop you.

Love,
Tami

Phase 2. SERIOUSLY.

So, when I get my hair cut at the Paul Mitchell Hair Academy in Rexburg, I ALWAYS ask for a phase 2 hairdressers. They are hairdressers that have finished up the regular training for their licenses, and are just there to learn additional cool hair things. Anyways, I am sure I asked for a Phase 2 girl when I made my appointment on Saturday. POSITIVE.

However, once my hairdresser was ready, I noticed she was taking me to a weird part of the salon. It was crowded, and noisy, and the girls looked really young and OH MY GOSH IT WAS THE PHASE ONE SECTION OF THE SCHOOL. Instant panic attack.

I was faced with two choices: I could either run in the opposite direction and say, "I asked for a phase 2 girl, so BACK AWAY WITH THOSE SHEARS," or I could be polite, grin and bear it, and not ask for anything too complicated.

I should have gone with the former option. My hair looks like the 'Little Dutch Boy' that was featured on the front that brand's paint cans:
Exhibit 1:



Yep. Anyways, performing a Google image search of 'dutch boy paint' actually cheered me up a little bit, because the logo is QUITE creepy, in a hilarious way:

Exhibit 2:


Awesome.

Well, my llama died...

Today before one of my classes began, I was chit-chatting with the people sitting around me. When someone asked if anything exciting had happened in the last few days, this quiet kid said slowly, "Well, my llama died."

I felt bad that no one laughed at his joke, so I giggled and said, "Oh, really?"

And he looked at me. Sadly. "Well, he was really old..."

[5 second silence]

Me: "Oh my gosh. You're serious?"

Him: sad nod. "Yea."

Me. "Oh! Uhhh...I'm sorry."

AWKWARDEST SILENCE IN THE HISTORY OF AWKWARD SILENCES.

That is all.